A Stage Model for a Deepening Christlikeness: Part 4 - Disengaged to Non-Anxious

As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

— Luke 7:38

The Journey to Non-Anxious

I appreciate the ongoing engagement with this model and welcome continued discussion. If you want to start from the first post in this series, you can find it here: Stage Model Intro.

As a reminder, I introduced the model this way... Picture a pie chart made up of four concentric circles with six slices. The core circle is Jesus. We start with the outer circle and move towards Christ with each circle representing a step towards being more like him. As we move inward, we transcend and include the previous circle.

Models are limited. The process isn't linear nor consistent nor even. We find that biblical words like those used in the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace...) are wonderful but are so common they are easily glossed over. Thus, we are purposely using words that hopefully will evoke emotion and thought because of their freshness.

As a reminder, the two main rules to follow, if you choose to create your own slices and as a way to test our slices, are that each circle moving inward represents progress, and when you move in from the second to the third circle (closest to Jesus), those in the second circle will feel uncomfortable and won't be sure if you are progressing or backsliding. With that, you can go for it!

Now, let's dive into the fourth slice. This slice is quite similar to the previous slice but more general. When I present this model to groups, I share this one before the Passive to Patient slice, I shared last time. That slice is a way of showing what happens as you move closer to ground level and take a more detailed, specific view. This slice takes us back to the 30,000-foot level. Perhaps, we could put the previous slice within this slice. You can consider that as you read this.

DISENGAGED

When we are in the outermost circle, we are noncommittal and living life on the edges. Perhaps we have a victim or scarcity or passive mindset. Most likely, we have been wounded and are living out of those hurts. We are suspicious and distrustful. Maybe bitter and cynical would be good descriptive words for this person. Of course, it doesn't have to be that extreme, but the people in this place are not engaged. They are going through the motions. If they are part of a spiritual community, they aren't serving. They show up late and leave early. Most likely, their involvement is forced, and they do not find the experience to be life-giving. This could be because of spiritual conviction or blindness.

COMPELLED

Then, this person, let's call him Joe, has an encounter. Something changes, God opens his eyes, and he gets excited. The change is noticeable as he goes all in. If someone asks him what happened, he will share his testimony of God changing his heart, and he may point to 2 Corinthians 5:14 saying he is "compelled by the love of Christ." He shows up for everything now and is excited and wants others to experience what he experienced. During this time, he is full of energy and excitement. Most likely, when he looks back with the eyes of maturity, he will recognize a good bit of anxiety and dissonance was under the surface in this season.

This season can last for many years, even for the rest of Joe's life. But some people come to the place at which things don't work out like they are "supposed to." They hit the wall and go through a season of deep disorientation. Some will call it deconstruction. Initially, they may double down and try harder and pray more and do more spiritual disciplines and serve more. Some will go through cycles of this as they keep butting up against the wall, doubling down, and repeating the cycle over and over again. I put myself in this category when I was younger. I had deep questions and was confused. Looking back, I see that God was inviting me into something deeper, but I could not see it at the time. Instead, I heard the call to missions and felt I had found the answer to my questions. Alas, I was yet to surrender, but it would be many years before I recognized this.

Others will give up and abandon it all, unwilling to surrender. We read about these in the news when the people are famous.

Then there are those who finally surrender and in a mysterious way let God carry them through the wall. Those who have done this wouldn't say they were passive, but they struggle to explain what their role was other than to use words like surrender and release and submit and find freedom and the like.

NON-ANXIOUS

Coming to the other side of the wall in this slice looks like being a non-anxious presence. This isn't something we can will, although it is possible to control our emotions in certain situations. As in all of these, the word describes something we are becoming, and I use the present-perfect tense intentionally when I write becoming.

NON-ANXIOUS JESUS

When we think of being non-anxious in anxious situations, we can easily think of multiple stories of Jesus. The gospel writers consistently relate stories in which Jesus is the only non-anxious participant.

When I read the story of Jesus in Simon the Pharisee's house and the woman of ill-repute washing his feet with her tears and hair, my skin crawls (Luke 7:36-50). I can viscerally picture how awkward I would feel in that room. Jesus is totally at ease, fully differentiated, and able to engage everyone in the room with love and care. It is a powerful picture of each of the words in our model's inner circle.

Another great example is when Jesus is on the way to Jairus' house to heal his dying daughter (Mark 5:21-43). On the way, the woman who has been bleeding for 12 years surreptitiously touches the edge of Jesus's robe. Power goes out from him and heals her. He stops to find her. The crowd is pushing in all around him; Jairus is freaking out as any anxious parent would be; the disciples are confused and letting Jesus know it. Can you picture the chaos? Jesus is unfazed. He is fully present, totally engaged, and showing no signs of anxiety. He has total faith in his Father and is perfectly attached to him.

But this isn't a case of Jesus trying to be something. He is not working to put on an outward appearance. He is fully integrated, living out of a deep place of attachment to the Father and assurance that all is well. He is a non-anxious presence because he isn't experiencing anxiety. As we move towards him, as we become like him, it means we are becoming the kind of people who are not anxious. Now, we are never going to be perfect. We know this. I'm not insinuating that at some point we will arrive. We are becoming and with each instance, we learn and grow. As we reflect and process and sit with Jesus, our soul settles. Healing happens and our internal drivers change. We are becoming because as we make space (and even the making space is by God's grace), God moves in us.

Here's a simple example from my life; one you may be able to relate to. I'm out in public with my young child, and my child is throwing a tantrum. I'm feeling self-conscious and embarrassed and wondering what everyone is thinking of me and because of these internal drivers, I'm trying to make my child stop and be quiet and behave. I'm doing it in a relatively harsh way as my anxiety and panic increase. I am in full self-protection mode and don't want anyone to have the wrong impression. Fast forward to a more mature Duke. The same thing happens, but now I'm calm and aware and can see my child (or grandchild) for who and where they are. I can respond appropriately in love without protecting my reputation. My attachment to God isn't severed. I experience his love throughout the event. The two events may look similar to an observer, but the feeling is radically different. Of course, this isn't always true, but more and more it is, and when it isn't, I am able to sit with Jesus, reflect on the event, and experience his grace and growth as I engage with him and repent and/or get healing as needed.

CONCLUDING QUESTIONS

And with that we have covered another slice and are hopefully filling in a picture of deepening maturity in Jesus and what the journey may look like for some of us.

·       What do you think of this slice?

·       Where do you find yourself?

·       How does it resonate with your journey?

·       Feel free to give some feedback.

In the coming posts, we will fill in each space.

 Here's what we have so far:

Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

— Matthew 6:34